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LAUGH IT UP - CLEVER & FUNNY TOASTS
"Here is to the girl on the hill, that says she wont but her sister will."
"we drink to those who love us,
we drink to those who don’t.
We drink to those who f*** us,
and f*** those who don’t!"
"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So why not get wasted and have the time of our life."
"Here’s to the hole that never heals the more I rub it the better it feels."
“Here’s to the ideal woman; Who could ask for more? She’s deaf ‘n dumb, oversexed, and owns a liquor store.”
“Here’s to Hell! May my stay there be as much fun as my way there!”
“Here’s to you and here’s to me, And here’s to all the girls that lick us where we pee!”
"Here’s to honor…
hitting honor, getting honor, staying honor…
and if you can’t come in her… come honor"
"To our wives and our girlfriends,
may they never meet."
To a good selection,
a strong erection,
a clean injection,
and no infection!"
"To nipples… without them, titties wouldn’t have a point!"
"May all your ups and downs be between the sheets."
"Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking…
If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend.
If you’re going to cheat, cheat death.
If you’re going to steal, steal a heart.
If you’re going to drink, drink with me."
"May women with stubble,
At least have big bubbles!"
"If I should stumble out this bar
I pray this night is worth the scar!"
"Inny Minny Miny Moe
May these shots reveal the Hoe"
"When I shoot it down the hatch
I can make my booty clap"
"Friends may come and friends may go
Liquor comes to soothe the blow"
"May all of her children be fast asleep
Until you have completed your deed!"
"Red Heads love it
Blondes do too
Brunettes like it
How bout you??"
"You can suck me
You can taste me
Take me fast, don’t be so hasty"
"May the girls with Itty Bitty’s
Let you pet their pretty Kitties!"
"There once was a girl in high heels
Who slipped upon a banana peel
She had such a scare
Legs up in the air
I bout her a drink for one peek"
"Out with the old
In with the new
Cheers to the future
And All that we do"
"Cheers to you
Cheers to me
Pray after these shots
We'll be on our feet!"
"Shake it to the left
Shake it to the right
She who shakes it best
Drinks on me tonight"
"Drink until the sun comes up
Drink until the sun goes down
If you drink on both occasions
You will never wear a frown"
"Mary Jane with buns of steel
Wouldn’t let me cop a feel
Bought her 2 shots, 3 shots, 4
Shots galore until I scored!"
Life is Unfair
Cheers to the women
With thong underwear "
"Here's to girls who love to flirt
With touchy feely hands
May those hands toss plenty shots
Then end up down our pants"
"Here's to those who wish us well
And those that don't can go to hell."
"Here's to a night on the town
New faces all around
Taking the time to finally unwind
Tonight it's about to go down!"
"Dollars make me hollar
Diamonds make me scream
Men that give them freely
Always make me cream"
"To the ones that love us most
And the others who just hate
May we always know the difference
When they're standing in our face"
"Life may throw us puches
And knock us on our ass
Real friends are there to ease the pain and
somehow make you laugh"
"Women to the left of me
Women to the right
May the women in this bar
Never meet my wife!"
"Heres to Spring
in bikini strings!"
"To big round bootys
Nice firm tits
Attached to chicks
That let me hit!"
Cherries on Top
May we use
all three tonight
When the panties drop!"
"To the brave overseas
To the whores on there knees
May neither give up
Till the job is complete."
"Life may bring us pain
Jobs may give us gain
So take the gain
And ease the pain with
Girls that give us brain!"
"To the changes life may bring
Even through the toughest trials
May we always do our best
And if not embrace denial!"
"One shot, Two Shots, Three Shots, Four
If she's ugly shoot two more!"
"May neighbors respect you
Trouble neglect you
Angels protect you, and heaven accept you."
"Here's to tonight and all that it brings,
hopefully a hottie that wants a fling"